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Journal Entry:
Thu Jun 18, 2009, 11:17 PM
I'm done.
Just... done.
As soon as I finish Coercion's pic, I'll never pick up a pencil again.
I'll never bother any of you again.
I'm sorry if I wasted any of your time and pity.
Thank you for being there, even if you were pretending.
Obviously I'm not meant to do anything in this world. Just be a burden to people, it seems. I can't do school. I can't do art.
I'm a failure.
- Mood:
Anguish - Listening to: Hello- Evanescence
Devious Comments
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help my dragon eggs grow join today ang veiw [link]
more eggs
[link]
my club :iconfakemonfanclub:
icon made by :deviSuzume-The-Dragoness:
I really do know. It corners you in a little box and eats away at your insides regardless of how long you laugh and smile, and even when it DOES go away it's only a matter of time before it returns. But you know what? You have to fight it.
I know that sounds like utter bullshit - people don't realize that you HAVE been fighting all along, you're just now breaking down - but it's true. You have to keep fighting it.
I think the thing that bothers me most is that 99% of your words have left my mouth before. I've thought the same things, and I've squeaked past the anguish, but I feel like a moron for not being able to kneel down and claw you out of this mess. It makes my heart hurt.
But it is relieving, isn't it, to know that you truly aren't alone? To know that there are other people who suffer the same, people that are here for you.
Xesta, I may not know you very well, but I've got two perfectly good shoulders to cry on whenever you need them. I want you to relax for a bit, ride this out until it ebbs away - come back and see how much people care about you and your boundless talent. You have SO much potential! Not everyone ends up working for Disney or making millions sure but that potential is THERE, and it would be a damn shame to just let it rot like this. I do care, and your friends care, and the people who support and critique you care. Taking away something as beautiful as your creativity leaves this little spot on the internet several shades gloomier.
--
Veera: *tickletickletickle* >83
Groll: EEEEHEHEHEHEHE *Squirms*
Veera: *tickletickletickletickletickle etc.*
Groll: FUCK YOU BITCH *Kicks in the face*
You seriously need to grow the hell up and stop acting like the world is against you and only you. I'm sorry that your mother's a bitch and that you're doing poorly in school, but you have the power to fix all of that. The fact is, you've said many times that you're dicking around because you feel that you can't do it, and I'm calling bullshit. You know damn well that you can do it...you just don't want to. Highschool sucks. I'll be the first one to admit it. But highschool, and school in general, is what you make of it. If you're determined to have a horrible time, then that's exactly what you're going to get. If you don't apply yourself and do the work, then you fail. It's cause and effect, and you're going to have to deal with that until the day you die. If doing poorly in school is making you depressed, then FIX IT. Only you can do that...not your mom, not your teachers, and not your friends. YOU.
As for your art, I think you are a talented artist. But I'm not going to try to convince you of that because that's something you have to figure out on your own. Stop comparing yourself to everyone else because everyone learns differently. You think I started out with sparkly artist powers? Hell no. I started out with stick figures like everyone else, and I practiced until my fingers bled until I got to where I am today. And am I satisfied with my work? Nope! And that's why I practice EVERY...SINGLE...DAY until I master a certain technique...then I move on to the next one. It takes time and patience to hone skills, and it's not going to happen overnight. Some people learn fast, and some learn slow...you've got to learn at your own pace and stop throwing in the towel when you get frustrated. And that applies to everything, not just artwork.
I don't know what's going on, and I don't expect you to tell me. But you need to take a long, hard look at yourself and figure out what it is that YOU want to do, and then do it. You're on the fast-track to becoming an adult, and soon you won't have a choice but to deal with things that are hard.
Be pissed and upset with me if you want to...but remember this: If I didn't care, I wouldn't have bothered.
Becca
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"Life is eternal, and love is immortal, and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight."
~Rossiter Worthington Raymond
--
SSgt. Griggs: Oh, you gotta be shittin' me!
Cpt. Price: Gaz, can't you make it open faster?
Gaz: Negative, sir. But you can try pulling it if it'll make you feel better
Cpt. Price: ...Cheeky bastard
CoD4: Modern Warfare
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It is very foolish to lock oneself into a wardrobe...
Xesta, I know we don't know each other but I've been watching as long as I've know Zimmy and that's along time. Please, do not speak or think this way, you my friend have pure talent, a gift most people want however which they can acheive by practicing like you and me. You've come so far, Xesta, and it is pointless and stupid to give it up all now! Honestly I think your a way better artist then me, really! Your anatomy and style is amazing and I would hate for that to go way.
I'm not sure what else to say here, and truefully I'm none too good at these sort of things but I do hope you feel alot better about yourself soon. :c
--
What is love?
Baby don't hurt me,
Don't hurt me,
No more.
Chuck Norris just round-house kicked you in the face so fast that you don't even know what the fuck just happened.
If it matters, you obviously have some people wanting you to stay. Like you're reading any of these. :/
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Sheezyart = [link]
Blogspot = [link]
The meaning of life? That's easy, it's [link]
Life sucks sometimes but YOU have the power to make it ENJOYABLE. And if you say that you know all of what becca said to you, then why would you post a journal like this? Why aren't you making efforts to make life BETTER?
I don't know what to say anymore Xesta, everyone's getting tired of these kinda journals and so am I. I think...If you just...I dunno...
I really don't know what I should say to you.
Nothing I say to you ever seems to affect you.
--
An old man walks into a decaying forest and asks himself "Where am I? I don't recognize this place at all.".
Icon made by =nightingOWL
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